Regrets

“I want to live my life so that my nights are not full of regrets.”

David Herbert Lawrence

So the saying goes “Regrets are a waste if time.”, but yet we all have them. Whether it be in our professional lives or our personal lives there are always those things we wish we could have a do over on. Something that we could have done differently that may or may not change an outcome or where we are today. Love em or hate em regrets are here to stay so I wanted to share a few regrets of my life that I wish I could get a mulligan on.

Professionally I wish I could have realized my full potential more often. I remember in high school and in college someone would always tell me “you are so smart but you never live up to your full potential”. Whenever someone tells me that I set out to prove them wrong and for a time I do and I show that I can be the best at a lot of things if I put my all into it. But after a while I fall back into the easy going mentality of just coasting by and not doing my best because I know that i can “get by” by doing the normal. I guess most of my life has followed this pattern and I wish I could have a reset button on my high school era so that I could change this mentality from the roots.

Personally, it’s a lot harder to pick out a regret that I have. i mostly carry out my life under the mantra that karma is a bitch and what goes around comes around. It has shaped me into the respectful man I am today and I would not change that one bit. My one true regret personally would be that I don’t live life to the fullest which can lead to missing out on great opportunities in life. I tend to play it safe because nothing bad will happen that way…but it will. Regardless of how safe you play things, bad things do happen to good people regardless of how good they are. If I had it to do all over again I would have taken many more chances as a young adult to do things which were out of my element and get myself out of my comfort zone.

Well those are my regrets and even though they are a waste of time I will still dwell on them. If your regrets are something that you can change at this present moment you should go for it. Later on in life don’t look back saying you should have…say you did.

Lianna La Havas

Lianne La Havas is a very very talented artist and i hope she continues to bring out great Music

Music Rules Everything Around Me

Where would the world be without good music? Where would we be without a song for every mood? Music is truly one of the greatest equalizers. Whether happy or sad there is a song for the end of both spectrums and anywhere in between. Personally I am a sucker for some really soulful and powerful songs. The ones you listen to and you can just feel someone putting their all into a song. For myself it’s part of the transcendence between what I feel and how the music is relating to my sorrow or joy.

 

From a young age I could realize how important music was for everyday life and that sentiment has only been amplified by all the ipods and mp3 players that we have at our disposal. Growing up there were not may radio stations to listen too but I can vividly remember listening to a radio station which played all of the 80’s songs. To this day every time an 80’s song comes on I can almost recite it word for word. That connection brings back so many memories of me and my sister in the backseat of the car while my mom was driving.

 

One of the strongest connections to music for me is during times of depression or sorrow. Most time I fell as if no one can relate to what I am going through or what I am feeling. Sometimes it can feel as if the world is against you. And during those times I usually turn to music to either express what I am feeling or say what I can’t. There is a connection as if my pain is being played out through the notes. A lot of people won’t get it but it helps to let everything out in that way. It cleanses the heart and soul.

A small sample of the albums I am listening to right now: Adele – 19, Emeli Sande – Our Version Of Events, Kimbra – Vows, Jay Z – Black Album, Elle Varner – Perfectly Imperfect, Kanye West – College Dropout, Kendrick Lamar – Good Kid M.A.A.D. City, The Weekend – Trilogy.

Like I said that’s just a small sample. I enjoy a wide variety of genres.

 

 

Love Quotes

Just a few quotes I wanted to share about love that I liked.

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones

“You don’t love someone because they’re perfect, you love them in spite of the fact that they’re not.”
― Jodi Picoult, My Sister’s Keeper

“You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect – you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break – her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there.”
― Bob Marley

If I were to hold your hand would you feel my love? If I were to give you a kiss would you feel my pain? If I were to walk away would you try to stop me? I ask all these questions in wanting to know
do you have feeling for me like I do?

Unknown

And my favorite of all…

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

– 1 Cor 13:4-13

I Do…For Now

Time and time again i have found myself asking the same question. What makes a good marriage? Obviously the question nor the answer is as simple as it seems. Many marriages look good from a far but are far from good. Marriage can be considered as one of my greatest fears. Not the fear of committing to only one person for the rest of your life, but the fear of failure in marriage. So many marriages fail for many different reasons and as I look out on that landscape I wonder what different reasons drove them to the point of no return. For myself a marriage has to be about give and take. Not too much give so that someone is taking advantage of you but not too little so that it seems you don’t care. the middle ground is where it’s at.

I also think there has to be plenty of communication and people have to check their egos at the door. If yous can’t communicate about the smallest things to the biggest then so many secrets will be kept which in turn will create distrust. And a marriage without trust is like a house built on the beach. Sooner or later it will fall. I have been guilty of not communicating what i felt because I didn’t want someone to look at me differently or i didn’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. It always hurts more when something comes out after the fact no matter how big or small and that little seed of doubt will grow.

I could go on forever about my thoughts on marriage but i’ll end it now before i go on forever. Marriage takes commitment and unselfishness. Love will get you to the alter but the hard works begins the minute after you say “I do”.

“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche

Valentine’s Day

So this past week it was Valentine’s Day. A day which brings about so many different emotions from so many people from hate to happiness. I usually do not have a problem with V-day as I am kind of a hopeless romantic. One thing I have tried to do over the years is to kind of mold my girlfriend into a more romantic person. This is not to say she has not been romantic in the past but as with all long term relationships some things change and for a time she changed into a less romantic person.

Has this been a problem for anyone else? I’m sure almost every relationship has changes and they either get stronger and adapt or drift into nothingness. I like the fact that we are able to communicate about problems we see or can foresee in the future and then we tend to try and work on those weaknesses to make us stronger. Sometimes it’s the same problems and sometimes there are new ones but for the most part we talk and deal with them which is great.

As for the day itself, I delivered some flowers to my girlfriend’s job myself and I am glad I did. I wasn’t sure how happy she would be but from the look on her face I think she was both surprised and happy and nobody else had received flowers on her floor so that was a plus.  We actually went to dinner last night so that we could avoid the craziness of going to dinner on the actual day. It was romantic and intimate. I couldn’t have asked for anything else…well except for a little faster waiter service but all in all it was a great time.

Alright enough of my waxing poetically. It’s so easy to be happy during the best of times but it’s what you do during the worst of times that shapes who you are and how far you go. But until then let the good times roll.

First Time

This is my first time writing anything like this. I’m not an experienced writer or eloquent for that matter but I would like to give it a shot. I have decided to start this blog so that I can share my thoughts about love and life. My girlfriend and I have been together for a while now and we are both in the stage in our live where we are considering getting married. So through this blog I would like to express some of the obstacles in our love life and my personal life. It’s funny that as I write this post she is a bit upset with me because I was not able to meet her on time today after she got done at work for something important so the silent treatment has begun. Fellas you know how it goes.

The main thing I am looking for is an outlet of sorts. We do communicate but sometimes it helps to get things out you know…the talking to a stranger syndrome. So feel free comment and give some advice. I don’t want love or life to be easy…but I would like for it to last.